Trust the Tiny: Why Small Steps Count More Than Big Plans After Divorce
Trust the Tiny: Why Small Steps Count More Than Big Plans After Divorce
I am working with a health coach right now who always says” trust in the tiny”. This is a great reminder for me because I am a pro at overthinking. Often, I am afraid to take a single step because I think that everything needs to be perfect before I do. I started wondering if this logic would apply to divorce recovery. After divorce, it is very common to feel like you need to fix everything all at once.
Your finances.
Your home.
Your body.
Your confidence.
Your future.
You look around at your life and think, I have so far to go. Then the pressure builds. And instead of taking action, you shut down. It’s easier to just take a nap or scroll through social media.
Not because you are lazy. Not because you are incapable. But because your nervous system is overwhelmed and your brain is trying to protect you.
This is where many women fall into the all or nothing trap.
You tell yourself:
If I cannot do this the right way, I will wait until I can.
If I cannot fully commit, I shouldn’t start.
If I cannot do it consistently, it doesn’t count.
That thinking feels logical. It is also the exact thing that keeps you stuck.
Tiny Still Counts
You don’t rebuild a life in giant leaps. You rebuild it in small, almost unnoticeable steps that add up over time.
Five minutes of organizing is still organizing.
One healthy choice is still a vote for your well-being.
One boundary is still a shift in how you are treated.
Small actions may not look impressive from the outside. But on the inside, they do something powerful. They rebuild self trust.
Every time you do one small thing you said you would do, your brain starts to believe, maybe I can handle this. Maybe I am not as stuck as I thought.
That belief is what creates real momentum.
Why Big Overhauls Backfire
Right now, you are not just managing logistics. You are healing emotionally. That takes energy. When you demand a complete life overhaul from an already drained system, your brain reads it as a threat.
So you procrastinate. You scroll. You avoid. Then you feel worse about yourself.
The problem is not your willpower. The problem is the size of the change you are expecting from yourself.
Smaller feels safer. And safe is what allows forward movement.
A Better Question to Ask Yourself
Instead of asking, how do I create a whole new life for myself?
Try asking, “What is one small thing I can do today that future me will be glad I did?”
Not one big thing. One small thing. Think tiny.
Here are some examples:
If your house feels overwhelming put away ten items. Then stop.
If money scares you simply log into your bank account and look at the balance. No spreadsheets. No big decisions. Just look. Commit to doing this daily.
If your body feels neglected take a ten-minute walk or stretch while dinner is in the oven.
If your confidence is low send one email you have been avoiding. Or make one small decision without asking five other people for reassurance or for their opinions.
None of these will change your life overnight. That is not the point.
The point is to prove to yourself that you are capable of moving forward, even in a small way.
Let Go of Perfect
You do not need a perfect routine. You need a repeatable one.
You do not need to do it every day forever. You need to do it today.
Messy counts. Half done counts. Late counts.
When you drop the all or nothing mindset, you create space for progress that actually fits the season you are in.
Your Only Job This Week
Pick one area of your life that feels heavy right now.
Just one.
Now choose one action that feels almost too small to matter. Something you could do even on a hard day.
Do that one thing each day this week.
That’s it.
You are not behind. You are rebuilding. And rebuilding happens one small, steady step at a time.
Trust in the tiny, my friend.
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