Avoiding Negotiation: Don’t Let Fear or Frustration Make Decisions for You

Avoiding Negotiation: Don’t Let Fear or Frustration Make Decisions for You
One of the Six Most Common Mistakes Women Make During Divorce

We’ve talked about many of the common mistakes women make during divorce—mistakes that often come from heartbreak, betrayal, and sheer overwhelm. This next one is especially costly: avoiding negotiation altogether.

It’s completely understandable. When you’ve been blindsided, lied to, or hurt deeply, the last thing you want to do is “play nice” with the person who caused that pain. You might feel like avoiding the process entirely or letting your attorney handle everything. You might think, “I don’t even care anymore, just get it over with.”

But here’s the truth: if you don’t participate in the negotiation process, you risk walking away with far less than you deserve.

Avoiding negotiation doesn’t make things easier. It often makes them more complicated—and more expensive.

Instead, think of negotiation not as a battle, but as a conversation about building your future. This is your opportunity to speak up, stay grounded in what matters most, and take charge of your life. But to do that effectively, you need two things: clarity and a plan.

Here’s what worked for me:
During my own divorce, I kept a journal. I wrote down what mattered to me—what I wanted, what I needed, and what I was willing to compromise on. That journal became my anchor. It helped me stay focused when emotions ran high and reminded me of what I truly valued. When you have that kind of clarity, you can advocate for yourself with strength and confidence.

Here’s how to approach negotiation wisely:

✓ Get clear on your non-negotiables – Know what really matters to you: your home, your parenting time, your financial stability.
✓ Stay engaged – Don’t let someone else speak entirely for you. Your voice matters, and your input is essential.
✓ Be realistic, not rigid – Divorce is rarely “fair,” but it can be equitable. Flexibility allows for creative solutions.
✓ Use a journal or planner – Keep track of your thoughts, concerns, and progress so you don’t lose sight of your goals.
✓ Know that negotiation is not weakness – It’s a skill. And when done with intention, it’s one of the most powerful tools you have.

Avoiding negotiation may feel like self-protection, but in reality, it’s self-sabotage. This is your life. Don’t let fear, resentment, or fatigue dictate the outcome of your divorce.

You deserve to walk away from this process with dignity, peace of mind, and a foundation for your next chapter.

“Avoiding Negotiation” is just one of the six common mistakes women make during divorce. To learn more and avoid the others, download my free e-book, The Six Most Common Mistakes Women Make in Divorce and How to Avoid Them, and take back control of your future—one empowered decision at a time.